Not So Happy Xmas

I think I'm going to skip Christmas Cards this year. I can't think of anything acceptable, and as funny as I might think a grim card would be, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't go over too big. But I still have some time to change my mind.

Take A Happy Pill

I've never been one to medicate, but lately I'm wondering if being numb wouldn't be better than being tense all the time. Enough said I guess. I'll just continue to do what I've always done. Man up and deal with it. Maybe I should go for a bike ride, it is a nice day.

I want to RALF!

I really get anxious this time of year, especially if I don't have the money I need to comfortably gift. This has been truly a very stressful, difficult year. I hope to never relive this, but the reality is just because the calendar turns to 2012 it doesn't wipe the slate clean. It might erase the past year's numbers, but there just doesn't feel like there is enough momentum to push things to the next level. I fret over something going wrong that I can't handle, and that concerns me allocating cash to buying things we don't need. Boy I'm a real cheerful cartoonist. Just a barrel of laughs. No wonder I can't get in the right frame of mind to be creative. It is all I can do to keep from just throwing in the towel or going postal on someone.

O Ye Be Unhappy...There is No Joy

I really hate this time of year. I hate that I hate it, but can't figure out why. I'm like poor old Charlie Brown, I know I'm supposed to be happy but I can't be happy.

Yea its me...So much for regularity (XXX rating)

I'm not even sure the actual date I made this doodle...well over a month ago. I've just been too busy during the day to even doodle, let alone post. I do love those little naked people, I've gotta find a way to use them in something later. They just crack me up and I can see all kinds of scenarios I could build around them. I don't have much to say that hasn't been said, basically status quo.

Fourth of July, Happy 235th Birthday America

Pussy Humor to go with all the Weiner Humor

Out Running a Crumbling Bridge

Ever see one of those movies or cartoons where the hero has to dash across some bridge that is crumbling behind him as he runs and he barely makes it to the other side? It just dawned on me that visual is pretty much my life analogy.

I didn't realize how depressed and unhappy I must sound after looking back a some of my recent postings. And it was becoming apparent that I've been looking at things as if I was in the aforementioned scenario but running in the other direction. I was feeling as if I inevitably was going to run right into the canyon, that there was no chance of survival. But it dawned on me, I've always out run the ever present and disappearing footing beneath my feet. Somehow or another I keep just one step ahead of catastrophe, and I guess there is no reason to believe I won't continue to out run the collapse.

Oh, yeah there are days when my heels are hanging in the air, and it seems like I won't make it, but I do. I realize if I were to stop running, and I never do, I would loose to the collapse, so there is motivation to keep running. To keep trying.

Guess that is what is meant by you never fail until you quit. As long as I keep trying, things will work out.

Liars and Cheats Beat Honest Individuals

I watched a collection of shows over a recent weekend that deeply depressed me: "To Big To Fail", "60 Minutes: Tyler Hamilton interview on doping in cycling and Lance Armstrong", CNBC: "Collapse of Enron" and a bit of the CNBC special on the mortgage debacle.

The common thread I saw was success, measured in wealth, was achieved by individuals that decided to just not follow the rules. Additionally, if there weren't explicit rules disallowing a particular action, then it should of been very clear that on a moral, right/wrong or Golden Rule paradigm the actions clearly were on the dark side.

What depressed me further was recognizing that even though these characters were being caught, that they would never be punished to the extend that they'd wind up on the street in a box. It was pretty obvious that either they would have enough money left to live far better than the top 1% of Americans, and their names would not be so tarnished that they would not be able to step right back out there and be paid to tell their story of redemption, or take find another company willing to hire them.

I consider myself very honest. I practically go out of my way to do the right thing. Whenever there is a decision to be made where different outcomes could either benefit me greatly or not, and if the scenario that benefited me the least was the best for the other person, I always default to take the back seat. There have been any number of times I was confronted with these very uncomfortable decision, and it makes me sick to even realize I have to make that decision.

I recognize, or feel, some of my reluctance to cheat and lie comes from my youth where if I ever got close to that line, or barely crossed it, I got caught. But it really just grips my ass that with all my honesty I'm still beat by those that lie and care less.

Greeting Cards - One Guy Drawing

Store - Shirts, mugs, hats and stuff

Memorial Day Thank You

Ditch the Wife, Sell the House, Trade Your Kids In

Well summer is here, again. No vacation or end of school celebration for adults though. It is just another day with its own problems. I remember the whole transition from a school routine to a real life work routine. The loss of many holidays, the structured ending of classes and the beginning of the new ones. The immediate feed back of grades and test scores. All that is lost in adult life. Now it all runs together. It is difficult to know exactly where you stand from day to day. You only get the sense of change or accomplishment by looking back over long periods of time. Typically by the time you can see differences or changes you are so far into it that it is difficult to change. Somehow slowly you add more and more anchors. Those long term commitments and responsibilities...car loan, marriage, mortgage, pets, kids and etc. Your flexibility is lost and I wonder if it will ever return.

Fat Nation Not Helped By Federal Programs

So you gotta wonder, when I was kid (in the sixties and seventies) there was the Presidential Fitness deal...we had to do this 12 minute run/walk every quarter it seemed, maybe it was once a year, after we were in Jr. High (7th grade up for you Middle Schoolers). They still do this today at my son's school. He brought it up because he noticed no matter how much better he got, the PE teacher only commended the "fat" kids who got better. His words, "they walked it faster".

I've not ever done any research on the subject, and this is purely from memory and personal experience, but my belief is this was some kind of program pushed down from the department of education, much like standardized testing, to assure the physical fitness of us kids. But here we are nearly 40 years later and we are flat out the fattest nation on the planet, and our kids are the fattest generation of kids ever. So much for Federal mandates.

Myself...I'm still the same size I was as a Senior in high school, 6 foot, 187lbs. Considering we spend most of our time each day going from bed, to car seat, to office seat, to lunch booth seat, to car seat, to dinner table seat, to couch, to bed...how many calories can you burn only making 6 minute walking trips to your next resting place. No wonder there are food courts in malls...what American wants to burn so many calories walking a mall before they have to replace them with a high calorie Chinese meal? Hell if not the mall would be filled with dead, starved to death individuals otherwise.

I'd Do This For Free, But My Life Won't Let Me

I don't know where life took such a turn, but I'm pretty sure this is not the path I should be on. I truly believe in capitalism, and in my profession I have but three assets...TIME, INFORMATION and ETHICS, but I would give the first two to you for free, I'm not about to sell my Ethics, as a matter of fact I would say I have them priced out of reach. It has been said that as a salesman you don't sell a product or a price, you sell trust. I've bent over backwards telling the truth. Hell I hesitate not to say, I speak the truth and seek the highest mount from which to spread my truth...those who are true to themselves hear my words, those who want self affirmation will turn a deaf ear to me, only listening to that which does not challenge their beliefs.

But speaking the truth...doing to others as I would hope they would do unto me has not really panned out. In some other's eyes it may seem what I've accomplished and accumulated is grand and spectatular. It is all spit and tissue paper.

I regularly struggle with how do you establish trust. I've always been accused of being rather straight forward. Hell if you are going to be honest, be honest, why beat around the bush about what you know...let it be known. Point out what you think, and know. If you feel you are sharing the best, most honest idea, why not spill it all...but for some reason, people don't trust honesty...they seem to recoil and distrust, so I'm forced to play this uncomfortable game of let's slowly get to know what you want and what I can do. It only leads to me feeling like I've given all, they've taken it, and I've gotten nothing. My Life Won't Let Me Do This For Free!!!!

I Need to Monitor my Bio-Rythms

I swear I think this every year. I'm certain I have some grand bio-rhythm cycle, and it seems to be the same intervals all the time. I can't put my finger on it, cause I've never monitored or logged the swings, but I'm in one of those downer phases. Nothing seems to go right. I can't muster up any enthusiasm. If I could escape to a hole in the ground I would. I just want to scream at the world. Everyone seems like idiots and I don't understand anything.

I'm Back - Movie about Me?

I decided the other day that if a movie were to be made of my life it would be short and there would be a lot of those advancers moments that movies use to skip a lot of time that nothing relevant or exciting occurs. So the screen notes would read:

Opening Scene - Hospital birthing room circa 1960's.
Action - nondescript baby born
Screen fades to black and words appear: YEARS LATER
Screen fades back in
Scene - nondescript car from rear driving down nondescript rode
Action - arm reaches out of sunroof holding nondescript can, ashes and dust begin dispersing from can, hand releases can, can bounces on road to shoulder and comes to rest.
Screen fades to black and words appear: THE END

Another Quarter Gone

Well there ya go...bye, bye 1st quarter of 2011. I lived through 11:11am and 11:11pm of 1/11/11. Guess I just have to wait until 11/11/11 to see what is up with the "ones". Yippee. Again, I didn't achieve what I wanted to achieve. I only have myself to blame. I really have to get focused. I really hate making myself do things. If I have to make myself do them, they must not be fun, and who in their right mind spends time doing things that are somewhat fun, or at least feel like they have value or purpose. Maybe that is what it is. It's not about fun it is about purpose. What is my purpose? Hmmm....I need a special purpose for the balance of 2011. Let's work on that, and I bet it ain't "make big bucks"..it's something much more profound. Yikes profound. Whatever could it be? (and yes it isn't what Namon discoverd in The Jerk)

Humans are an uncontrolable virus on the planet

I spend a lot of time thinking about how one thing effects another and so on. It is the economist in me. I recognize, or appreciate, and anticipate things of the nature that if fewer people are spending money, than eventually businesses will be making less money, hence they won't need as many people to work for them or won't be able to afford those people which puts people out of work and now you have fewer people spending less and so on. I got to thinking about the earth and the strain humans place on it. I recognize that Americans have notably the best standard of living on the planet, in general. We consume great amounts of protein and grain products. We consume a lot of energy. Slowly more countries and their populations are being elevated to our same standards of living. They will want to improve their diets and will consume more energy. If everyone on the planet eventually was elevated to our standard of living, could the planet support us. If not, which I'm seriously beginning to doubt, then we have to change something, or many things. What population level at our standard of living could the planet support? Do we hold the population steady? Do we reduce the standard of living for all? Do we figure out ways to reduce energy consumption? It is a very overwhelming quandary.

Free Me From the Blob of Life

So anyhow, I spend my days toiling. Sometimes more like treading water. I've often been heard to say, I've accumulated so many anchors in my life that I'm not able to maneuver. I had a conversation with my wife the other day and asked if she ever wonders about the outcome of today if other decisions had been made. She said, "No." Which astounded me. I figured everyone contemplates the possible differences in life if a different path had been taken. Maybe I'm one of the few. I know I'm analytical, and the product of an overly practical or responsible up bringing. I tried to shake it early on, but eventually it engulfed me like the blob. I can see out from the interior belly of the blob, as it is translucent, but I don't have the power to break free. Oh, if only some outside force would sprinkle salt on the blob and dissolve it and free me.

Poor Effort...

I've mistakenly doodled more on scrap paper than I have my sketch pad...but I can't scan in my scrap because they have business notes on them.

Cartoon Video, Watch the image created

I'd never seen myself draw, so did this with my phone in one hand. I thought it was interesting and has me thinking about some more video.

The Final Rough and Completed Project

It all jelled and I think came together nicely. The client is happy.

More Rough and Idea Developments for the Project

I really don't like drawing cars...not sure why...I used to draw a lot of hot rods in 2nd grade, but now...just don't love it.

A Paying Project and the work ups

There is a lot of sketches that go into some projects...this is one of those. The client had very definitive list of elements they wanted and I could tell had a very clear image in their mind...I try real hard to give what they want.

Your Mind Compensates for Being Alone

What I've noticed about working at home is that you begin to attach human like qualities (yea I know the word for that is anthropomorphism) to the things in your environment. Yesterday I seemed to have a particularly active imagination about the things in my environment. What really is true that damn bill box is the boss now.

Bad Follow Through Caused By Illness

Yea, Yea I know...this is a pretty pitiful contribution. I've been busy with what makes me the most money, and I was sick last week....not curl up in bed and whine like a baby sick, but just enough of a head cold to throw me off my game. So lighten up.

Nothing to Say Today...Focused and Busy

Stress of Reality

I'm quickly putting this up under immense stress and distraction. I hate it that I haven't had time to doodle, but I'm finding it real difficult to allocate or justify the time to even do a little doodle...obviously these are very limited and pretty much uninspired. I'm holding out hope for another day.

Just Keeping It Real

Yea, Yea, I know...I've been slacking...sorry. I've evidently been too busy in my real life to doodle. This is all I've done in the last 13 days. And rather than sit down and manufacture a bunch of unauthentic doodles, I'm giving you exactly what has occured.

Uncensored Doodling

I Do Hate a Bad Commute

One of the best things about working at home is you are never late to the office. This guy is growing on me.

Working At Home Can Be A Lonely Life

On thing for sure, when you work at home, there are very few social interactions.

A Talking Pencil? Does Anyone Even Use Pencils?

I Really Don't Like Drawing Animals

I'm finding myself battling between drawing and doing actual work that pays the bills. I seem to go through these annual stages where I just know there is an idea trying to get out and if I could just tap it I would be pouring out great comics. The counter balance to that is I'm very anal about not letting my head get too high in the clouds, as I feel, although we all may want to be a movie star there are only a few who ever do, the rest of us have to fill in and take a position to support reality. I drew that dumb looking Cat/Dog on a leash, remembering that most successful comic strips have an animal..and a quote by Schultz about how Peanuts didn't take off until Snoopy walked upright....but I hate drawing animals and cars.

January 11, 2011 - 1-11-11 Just Another Day

I've been seeing 1111 and other combinations of 1's for a while now. I was beginning to think either something horrible; death, or something great was going to occur on a day that was all ones...New Years Day this year, or the 11th of January, now I guess I have to wait until Nov. 1st or 11th to see if there anything awaiting me, cause today is 1/12/11 and I'm still here, and didn't win the lottery yesterday.

Okay, I Get it the Economy Sucks

I happene to talk to someone today that works at a bank that was recently taken over by the FDIC. The bank was brought down by development and commercial loans that were good at the time they lent the money, but now are crap. This person will ultimately loose their job also. There is a lot of commercial paper that borrowers have been paying as best they can in hopes the economy will turn. Well it has been 3 years now...they are tapped out. They wasted all their cash holdings and now they are going to loose it anyway and have nothing. The next shoe will drop soon and hard.