Get NAKED At Work.

Well maybe being naked at work wouldn't be so bad. It would really save on expenses. No more dry cleaning. No more having to update the tie collection. No more polishing the shoes. Hell, it might even cut down on office romances. Once you've seen your co-worker naked, no more fantasying or penned up desire to get them naked. You can now get back to just working and not scheming how to bed them without being sued for sexual harassment.

I think I like the little extra added punch of this version. What do you think?

Would You Rather I Be Naked?

Exercise - Good / Spending - Bad

It dawned on me that there is a strong correlation between the obesity epidemic in the USA and the financial crisis most people find themselves. I created this diagram to illustrate what I've seen.

The variables are Calories and Money, so Calories Taken In (eaten) equals Money Spent and Calories Burned/Exercise equals Income. Where if Calories Eaten are greater than Calories Burned then Obesity. If Expenses (money spent) is greater than Income then Financially Broke. If Exercise is greater than Calories in then Fitness, and if money spent is less than money earned then Financial freedom.

I noticed this the other day, and take a moment to investigate this yourself. In most strip malls, what is there among all the vacate store fronts. Grocery stores and restaurants dominate. Smattering of nail and hair places. People are spending enough money to support calorie intake. I looked up some stats the other day. Fifty percent of adults eat out 3 times a week. A third of calories comes from restaurants, 66% of Americans are overweight, the average American family spends $833 per month eating out ($10,000 per year). But they don't have enough money to allocate to retirement plans or savings.

Number One Reason Fat People Can't Get Skinny

Calories put into your face have to be less than what you use. This may be an extreme illustration, but not too far off base.

Word Games

This is from a collection I put together with a friend, EWE, who had the idea for this quick and easy morning brain teaser. You solve for the missing letters using the illustration as the clue. They were meant to be puns on cliques. So as not to spoil the fun, I'll post the answer in another blog post later. Use the comments to share your guess.

What Sex and the Stock Market Have in Common

What Language Do They Speak On The Moon?

Just working out the text and lay out of a strip idea. I think this idea was a doodle in a previous post. Now I'm trying to get it set up to use.

Porn Star Small Talk, or What's on A Porn Star's Resume?

I warned you a long time ago this is not a Disney Rated Blog. I don't self censor.

Sometimes, I get an idea that I have to work out to get the right feel of the punch line. This just happens to be one of those. A question just came to me, how do porn stars make small talk at work? I figured it would be natural to ask something we all ask one another while trying to get to know each other, "What did you do before this? or How'd you get into the business?" Something to that effect. These are my test lines.

I think I like the last one the best. Where the girl is exclaiming: "HEY!, Not up the ass. I'm not a bank client!"

You got any ideas or favorites?

Corporate Success Begins at Ground Level

The corporate "yes man", the one that is your boss, more likely than not. Who gets his direction from atop the Ivory Tower and are strapped with the responsibility to get the ground level employees to follow along. When it is normally so damn clear that there hasn't been any ground level assessment or testing of the strategy. Effectively only serving to further demoralize the ground level employees.

If they would ever really come down and try their strategy...not just ask what we think. That never works for two reasons, most dopes are too scared to tell the truth, and most management it too arrogant to listen.

I created this quote, so I'm quoting myself here, if that can be considered a quote, but I have it taped to my monitor now, as if it were a fortune cookie fortune.

"I tell it like it is brother...I speak the truth and seek the highest mount to spread my wisdom..those who are true to themselves will hear my words and heed them..those who want self affirmation to their misguided ways will turn a deaf ear to me and spend eternity in self created darkness, listening to that which does not challenge their beliefs."

It All Started With A Pregnancy Test. Happy Father's Day

There is Always that One Guy

Best Way To Cut A Bagel

National Donut Day? Really Aren't We Fat Enough?

I see today is National Donut Day. Really do we need to promote eating more crap? Hey, I like donuts just as much as the next, I rarely ever get one, mostly because I just don't find myself in a place to get one. I get the feeling looking around, listening to the news and actually talking to a lot of people, we don't need any help promoting donuts.

I'm pretty sure in my prior life I was a squirrel. This morning I was really anxious like some impending doom was waiting me. I notice squirrels on the front lawn while they are foraging, and they can't seem to stop stopping and looking around. Every few seconds, they stop, stand up, look around, then go about what they were doing, only to do the same thing a few seconds later. I bet they stop every 10 seconds. What are they really afraid of? I don't ever see many squirrels killed on the front lawn. What they really need to be afraid of is being stupid about crossing the road.

One of the interesting side benefits of working from home, is letting yourself go sometimes. Offensive to your family maybe, but how bad could you smell if you don't work up a sweat?