I Need to Monitor my Bio-Rythms

I swear I think this every year. I'm certain I have some grand bio-rhythm cycle, and it seems to be the same intervals all the time. I can't put my finger on it, cause I've never monitored or logged the swings, but I'm in one of those downer phases. Nothing seems to go right. I can't muster up any enthusiasm. If I could escape to a hole in the ground I would. I just want to scream at the world. Everyone seems like idiots and I don't understand anything.

I'm Back - Movie about Me?

I decided the other day that if a movie were to be made of my life it would be short and there would be a lot of those advancers moments that movies use to skip a lot of time that nothing relevant or exciting occurs. So the screen notes would read:

Opening Scene - Hospital birthing room circa 1960's.
Action - nondescript baby born
Screen fades to black and words appear: YEARS LATER
Screen fades back in
Scene - nondescript car from rear driving down nondescript rode
Action - arm reaches out of sunroof holding nondescript can, ashes and dust begin dispersing from can, hand releases can, can bounces on road to shoulder and comes to rest.
Screen fades to black and words appear: THE END

Another Quarter Gone

Well there ya go...bye, bye 1st quarter of 2011. I lived through 11:11am and 11:11pm of 1/11/11. Guess I just have to wait until 11/11/11 to see what is up with the "ones". Yippee. Again, I didn't achieve what I wanted to achieve. I only have myself to blame. I really have to get focused. I really hate making myself do things. If I have to make myself do them, they must not be fun, and who in their right mind spends time doing things that are somewhat fun, or at least feel like they have value or purpose. Maybe that is what it is. It's not about fun it is about purpose. What is my purpose? Hmmm....I need a special purpose for the balance of 2011. Let's work on that, and I bet it ain't "make big bucks"..it's something much more profound. Yikes profound. Whatever could it be? (and yes it isn't what Namon discoverd in The Jerk)

Humans are an uncontrolable virus on the planet

I spend a lot of time thinking about how one thing effects another and so on. It is the economist in me. I recognize, or appreciate, and anticipate things of the nature that if fewer people are spending money, than eventually businesses will be making less money, hence they won't need as many people to work for them or won't be able to afford those people which puts people out of work and now you have fewer people spending less and so on. I got to thinking about the earth and the strain humans place on it. I recognize that Americans have notably the best standard of living on the planet, in general. We consume great amounts of protein and grain products. We consume a lot of energy. Slowly more countries and their populations are being elevated to our same standards of living. They will want to improve their diets and will consume more energy. If everyone on the planet eventually was elevated to our standard of living, could the planet support us. If not, which I'm seriously beginning to doubt, then we have to change something, or many things. What population level at our standard of living could the planet support? Do we hold the population steady? Do we reduce the standard of living for all? Do we figure out ways to reduce energy consumption? It is a very overwhelming quandary.

Free Me From the Blob of Life

So anyhow, I spend my days toiling. Sometimes more like treading water. I've often been heard to say, I've accumulated so many anchors in my life that I'm not able to maneuver. I had a conversation with my wife the other day and asked if she ever wonders about the outcome of today if other decisions had been made. She said, "No." Which astounded me. I figured everyone contemplates the possible differences in life if a different path had been taken. Maybe I'm one of the few. I know I'm analytical, and the product of an overly practical or responsible up bringing. I tried to shake it early on, but eventually it engulfed me like the blob. I can see out from the interior belly of the blob, as it is translucent, but I don't have the power to break free. Oh, if only some outside force would sprinkle salt on the blob and dissolve it and free me.

Poor Effort...

I've mistakenly doodled more on scrap paper than I have my sketch pad...but I can't scan in my scrap because they have business notes on them.