Saturday, April 13, 2013

Day Dreams, Night Dreams and Distractions

I find myself lately having these great, profound thoughts but never at the time I'm sitting in front of my computer where I can blog.  By the time I get here I'm a blank slate, and can't stir up any random, insightful things to talk about.

Maybe that is good for you.  Maybe it is better for me that I'm not harboring all these seemingly frustrated feelings and negative energy.  Or maybe I have just become "comfortably numb", like a frog in a pot on the stove.  Rib-it!

I do know this week I felt completely disorganized and found it even harder to take on task that I really didn't want to, like paperwork.  God I hate the paperwork side of what I do.  When I close a deal I almost can't enjoy the victory because I know I have a butt load of forms to fill out and chase down signatures.

I felt more creative this week but have restrained from embracing the feeling in an effort to attempt to focus on what task are paying the bills right now.  Oh, that struggle continues.  I thought I could allocate a few hours a day to the cartooning day dream, but find the real world sloshing over into my fantasy world.

I have had some really bizarrely realistic dreams the past several nights.   Dreams that I wake up from and wonder whether they are some sort of premonition.  One involved an end of the world scenario and my anxiety over trying to keep from getting shot, and finding my own guns while being cornered in my house where, of all people, my sister has staged a drug induced, hippy sit in with her friends.  (she is not a hippy or druggie and I haven't spoke to or seen her in years)  Last night's dream I went to visit an old girl friend for a Saturday, (which would require a flight) and the entire visit was complicated by her and her husband constantly moving locations of sitting that would put where I was sitting out of proper conversational alignment.  Things like I'd have plant or TV in my line of sight.  It was as if I wasn't wanted.  This was all interrupted by a smoke detector that decided at 4am its' battery was low and started that incessant "tweet" every 30 seconds.  I finally realized what it was.  Got up and took it out of the ceiling.  Went back to bed and the dream continued...I couldn't stop it.

Well that is more writing than I thought I had in me.  I've got to hop.  Saturday spring clean up lawn chores await.

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