Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Sales Is Digging Through Shit for Nickels

Boon cartoonist for hire draws cartoon kids mom salesman stood up for meeting
It's a numbers game.  That is what you hear all the time in most sales literature and training.  Basically, it means there is no real way to determine who is going to buy and who isn't so you just need to keep looking, and asking, and eventually you'll find the one that will buy.  Quite frankly I find that idea an insult to intelligence.  Yea I understand the logic it just seems more like something the upper level executives of an organization say to keep the idiot sales force plodding along.  It's the same logic used by Generals in the military.  Throw enough troops at the problem and surely enough will survive to achieve the objective.  Sales is the only aspect of an organization where failure on such a large scale is tolerated.  Think about it.  In the manufacturing side, would they ever accept a 20% success ratio where 80% of the things you made were defective?  Would even the mail room accept that only 20% of the mail they send out gets to its intended target.  Enough said, I could go on all day...sales is just a shit job for people with marginal intelligence and a desire to have their self worth affirmed regularly by strangers.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Phone Aggrevation

Boon Cartoonist for hire doodles phone handsets
I do just about all my work on the phone as far as selling and working with clients.  I got fixated on hand sets the other day.  Trying to work out the perspective and look.  It's like trying to draw a car to me.  I just don't find it easy.

What got me stuck is someone asked me to work on a Saturday and it was all I could do not to scream at them, "Hell NO!  It's football season."  So I wanted to draw this quick sketch but it turned into a full page effort to perfect the handset.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Worms - Remember Disecting Them In High School

Boon cartoonist for hire draws gags using worms
More worm gags.  Now your entire 10th grade rant about when the hell are you ever going to use the stuff you had to memorize and learn in biology when you were dissecting those giant earth worms has been all blown to hell.  Cause today, yes, you will need to know some worm anatomy to get the gag.

All You Need To Do Is Follow The Worms

boon cartoonist for hire draws gags about early bird gets the worm
Well I promote myself as being just a little bit quirky.  Here's some more evidence of that personality flaw.  Sometimes I get an idea and I just keep spinning things off of it. (kind of like an ear worm?) Evidently the "Early Bird Gets The Worm" is one of those ideas.  Yesterday I drew more worms than I've ever drawn.  I don't know if I'm done but here is one page from my doodle pad with a few puns or twist on the "early bird gets the worm" phrase.

"All you need to do is follow the worms.", Pink Floyd, Waiting For The Worms

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Early Bird REALLY Gets The Worm. Whoa, Dude That's Deep!

boon cartoonist for hire draws random doodles worm bird mom elephant scientist rocker
"The early bird gets the worm".  Now what does that really mean?  I'm not so sure it really means the bird actually "gets" as in catches the worm.  I really think it is deeper, as in the bird understands the worm.  He really gets him.  The early bird and worm are on the same plain of thought.  They are hip to one another.  The worm is a really deep, organic being.   Truely in touch with nature.  The bird has the unigue perspective of the big pictures, a bird's eye view of the world.  Together they understand how everything fits together.   It is this small and big picture views that make their relationship whole.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Milestone Acknowledged 10,000 Views

I passed the 10,000 blog views over the weekend.  
Hooray for me!!!  See how excited I am?  

Boon Cartoonist for HIre logo One guy drawing card cartoons humorous illustrations

Thanks to all who have visited, who keep coming back and I'm looking forward to sharing more with you.

It took 3 years and over 225 post.  
I have faith the next 10,000 will come quicker. (at least by a day)

Why Won't My Kids Run Away?

boon cartoonist of hire draws frazzled mom witch ghost broom jack o lantern
 As a mom I'm often frazzled to the point I wish my kids would run away.  Since that never seems to occur then the only solution I'm left with is running away myself.  Now I could pack my bags, drain what little I have in the bank account and disappear. I've seen enough spy and international crime movies to be able to figure out how to vanish. Yet leaving the house never seems the best option, so I have a daily back up plan.  Pull out a corkscrew and uncork a bottle of wine.  A couple of glasses in and I've completely left my mind.  I'm sure the kids just think I'm bitch some days.  Well I hate them too!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

The World is Full of Special People - Idiots Really

Many times I feel either like I'm the most disconnected, illogical individual in the world or the world is just full of complete idiots.  We have a new public library near my home.  It just opened and I happened to be driving by and thought I'd pop in and check it out.  They have a parking area especially designated, by signage, for low emission, fuel efficient cars.  Cool, I whip my very compliant Fiat into a spot. Upon walking away from my car I notice the car in the space next to me has its engine running.  I step over to the car to investigate.  No one in it, and sure enough the engine is just purring along. 

So here is where the world just doesn't make any sense to me.  I get to the main desk and wait for someone to appear.  When they do I share the information about the car running in the low emission parking spot and I thought maybe the owner might want to know.  The only response I get is, "I wonder if it could be one of our employees?"  Why the hell that matters is beyond me, but I leave it at that and proceed to tour the new facility.
Two things struck me as just illogical.  One, there are people there, moms and kids mostly and then I recognize they are all teaching.  And it dawned on me these must all be "home schoolers".  Isn't home schooling supposed to occur at home?  It seems the government has built a really large library with numerous study rooms to accommodate "home schoolers".  Isn't that considered a school?  Two, I did want to see a particular book, a reference book.  I didn't see the reference area so I approached the "Information Desk".  I inquired of the location of the book.  I was told I can get that online at the library website we don't have the book here.  Hmmm?  Isn't the library supposed to have books?  I turn and depart and as I reach the doors to exit I realize the entire time I was there not one single announcement was broadcast in the library to inform the owner of the car parked in the GREEN ZONE their engine is running. 

Today will be marked as the first and last visit to the new library funded by my contribution to the SPECIAL PURPOSE LOCAL OPTION TAX where I've figured out SPECIAL refers more to the people associated with the purpose than the purpose itself.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Humans Suck At Managing Nature

boon cartoonist for hire draws animals pig dog duck gofer fish bird cat
One of my Facebook friends posted a picture of a group of deer standing in a neighbor's yard.  She commented, "Beautiful sight in the neighborhood this morning."  I would agree and I do enjoy seeing animals; deer, rabbits, squirrels, bear (not seen one but how cool), gophers and beavers (I said beaver heee-heee, god I'm juvenile).  After I appreciated and "LIKED" her picture the thought popped into my head that this is exactly the kind of picture that will prompt some pro-hunter type to justify hunting with some comment to the extent of "hunters provide a valuable service of population control".   That without hunters annually going out and killing deer that we would be over run with deer.

Population control?  Really.  I'm pretty sure Mother Nature has a way of dealing with over population.  It is called starvation.  Allocation of resources, good old supply/demand and survival of the fittest.  These have worked for eons to balance out populations of everything.  I don't see sitting in a tree with a high power scope and sniper rifle, 200 yards down field of a deer as a qualified form of population control.  Face it you just like to kill stuff.

If you want to control the population of certain animals than simply stop manicuring nature. Unfortunately or fortunately, humans have created environments that not only we enjoy and feel comfortable in, but so do a lot of other animals.  We've created more and easier food opportunities.  We've created cover and hiding places that are very conducive to all these animals.    To say humans must kill extra animals to prevent them from starving is ass backwards.  It isn't over population.  The population has just risen to a natural level in line with food and shelter opportunities.

Funny thing about nature is it has a way to fill voids and find its own level.  You push on one side and a bulge appears on the other.  It is a zero sum game.  I heard the other day that the population of rattlesnakes is increasing.  Why?  Because we have successfully hunted rattle snakes.  How could this be?  Well the way rattle snakes are hunted is you walk around and listen for the rattle.  When you hear one you zero in on it and snatch it up.  What this has ultimately created is a perfect opportunity for all the rattle snakes with weak, silent rattles to survive and multiple.  So now we have more rattle snakes but fewer that we can actually hear or receive warning from and hence more people are and will be bitten by one.  Way to go humans.

Humans are notoriously poor managers of nature.  The fact that we've been able to manufacture and sculpt these animal oasis into the natural world is not only a testament to our power within our environment, but an arrogance and stupidity of the limits of our power.  We do all this and expect nature to just yield to our view of how it should be. Nature is not going to leave a void or unexploited resource it is just not its way.  It is just not reasonable to expect our environment to be sterile of other living things.  Even your home, your little safe, sterile space is just an illusion of control.  Open your doors and nature will come in.  Plants, bugs and animals.  Nature will not relent to human management because we suck as managers of nature.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Mural Done For Kids Room

boon cartoonist for hire paints mural for kids room jungle scene monkey elephants

This is a wall in a kids room.  I bet it measures 12 foot long by 8 foot high.  Some air brushing involved.  Took a weekend.

Large Format Signs and Murals - Grocery Store Promotions

I did a lot of special promotion sign work for Publix.  These are just a few that were used in store.  The fun shack was for summer goods display, the two kids promoted the use of some loyalty card, the football player was for a Super Bowl display of Pepsi, and the lower right was used as a sign carried during some charity walk.

Large Format Murals and Signs - Grocery Department Signs

I used to do a lot of large format work.  Signs, displays in Publix grocery stores, murals, and promo pieces.  Most were done on 8 foot by 11 foot foam board, air brushed and cut out.   Here are some samples.  These are scanned in photos so there is some glare.

These are signs created for four department - (clockwise) Sea Food, Meat, Bakery, Produce

Thursday, September 5, 2013

My Pen Has No Focus. My Pencil is Anal.

boon cartoonist for hire draws pencil mom kid evil guy

This should be a short post.  I've got things I need to do and things I want to do.  I started a new sketch pad.  YEA FOR ME.  For those who have followed this blog (all 8 of you) you'll recall the aggrevation I've had with the previous pad.  It wasn't 8.5 x 11 and was a pain in the rear to line up on the scanner.  This one is 8.5 x 11.  It even has a cool is that?  Now I can yell at it to get its hands out of its pocket and stand up straight.

Progress on the cartooning business front.  I sent out over 260 promo pieces to magazines and another 500+ to newspapers in the last few days.  I'm about to send out more to advertising/marketing/PR firms, but not sure how many yet.  I bought the most recent edition of Artist Markets, on my Kindle, so working my way through it.  I really wish I could find my old marketing data base from 1995..that one ginned up a lot of business over time.  So far my efforts have been met with no results.  I don't know if it is the times or the markets.

Happy Birthday to Mort Walker, cartoonist of Beetle Bailey, Hi & Lois, Boner's Ark, Sam and Silo and other strips.  He would have to be my childhood cartooning influence and I'm sure a dicerning eye can see hints of his style in mine.  Anyhow, he is 90 now and Beetle turns 63 this week also.